Marriage, a sacred union ordained by God, is often painted as an unbreakable bond. However, the reality is far more complex. While God intends marriage to be a beautiful reflection of His love, it can also become a cage for those trapped in abusive relationships. It’s crucial to understand that God never intended for His children to endure suffering, pain, or fear especially in a marriage.
How does God View Marriage
God’s View of Marriage
God views marriage as a sacred and lifelong union between one man and one woman. It’s a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church.
Two Bible Verses about Marriage:
Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This verse establishes the foundation of marriage as a lifelong commitment between a husband and wife.
Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This verse outlines the role of the husband as a loving and sacrificial leader within the marriage.
These verses highlight the importance of unity, commitment, love, and sacrifice in a God-honoring marriage. Unfortunately, many marriages break down and become abusive. I have heard many married couples especially the males complaining that the wife is not submitting herself to him.
The Myth of Unconditional Submission
Many people misuse biblical passages about submission to justify staying in abusive relationships. This is a harmful misinterpretation. The Bible promotes mutual respect, love, and partnership, not domination and control. When one partner wields power to inflict harm, it’s a gross distortion of God’s intended order.
God’s Heart for the Abused
Contrary to popular belief, the Bible is not silent on abuse. It condemns violence, cruelty, and manipulation. God is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. He desires freedom and healing for His children.
Psalm 11:5: “The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.”
Jeremiah 22:3: “This is what the Lord says: ‘Do what is just and right; rescue from the power of the ruthless the victim. Do not oppress or mistreat the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow. Do not shed innocent blood in this place; do not plot harm against one another, for I abhor such things, declares the Lord.’”
Navigating a Relationship Breakdown
A relationship breakdown can be harrowing and overwhelming. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone, and there are steps you can take to cope and heal.
Prioritize Your Well-being:
Allow yourself to feel: It’s okay to experience a range of emotions. Give yourself time to process your feelings.
Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about what you’re going through.
Practice self-care: Focus on activities that nurture your physical and mental health, such as exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your ex-partner to protect your emotional well-being.
Reflect and Learn:
Understand what happened: Reflect on the relationship to identify patterns or issues. Take responsibility: Consider your role in the breakdown but avoid blaming yourself. Learn from the experience: Use the experience as an opportunity for personal growth.
Rebuild Your Life:
Focus on yourself: Rediscover your interests and hobbies.
Create a new routine: Establish a daily routine that supports your well-being.
Build a support system: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.
Consider professional help: A therapist can provide guidance and tools for coping.
Remember, healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.
Would you like to focus on a specific aspect of your breakup, such as dealing with emotions, co-parenting, or rebuilding your life?
If Your Relationship Becomes Violent: Get Out and Get Help
Violence is never okay. If your relationship has turned violent, your safety is the absolute priority.
Immediate Steps:
Prioritize your safety: If you’re in immediate danger, call emergency services.
Create a safety plan: Develop a plan for leaving safely, including where you’ll go, who you’ll contact, and how you’ll get there.
Reach out for support: Contact a trusted friend, family member, or a domestic violence hotline.
Document the abuse: Keep a record of incidents, including dates, times, and details. This can be crucial evidence.
Seek legal advice: Consult with an attorney to understand your legal options and protection.
Biblical Principles for Breaking Free
Prioritize Your Safety: Your physical and emotional well-being are paramount. God cares about your life.
Understand Your Worth: You are a beloved child of God, deserving of respect and dignity.
Seek Support: Don’t face this alone. Connect with trusted friends, family, or a support group.
Trust God’s Timing: Leaving an abusive situation can be complex. Trust God’s guidance and protection.
Focus on Healing: The journey to recovery is long, but with God’s help, healing is possible.
A Prayer for Freedom
Lord Jesus,
We see clearly that you hate when violence is happening between people. You hate when evil enters our homes and one person begins to control and dominate another due to their brokenness. We ask that by your power you would break the chains of abuse in this relationship. Show everyone involved a path to freedom. Bring healing rather than brokenness, light instead of hiding in the dark. Help everyone involved to be brave, walking by your strength. Bring wisdom, resilience, support, and clarity to this relationship. Set us free from the chains of violence and unsafe interactions in Jesus’ name amen.
Reaching Out for Help
If you are in an abusive relationship, please know you are not alone. There is help available. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
Conclusion
Breaking free from an abusive relationship is a courageous step. It takes immense strength and faith. Remember, God is with you every step of the way. You are not defined by your past, but by the hope and healing that lie ahead. By sharing your message and offering hope, you can make a significant difference in the lives of those affected by abuse.
