What Causes This Type of Fear to Develop
Failure is inevitable in life. Proverbs 24:16 states, “The righteous may fall seven times but still get up, but the wicked will stumble into trouble.” We have failed at doing things and then learn and often go on to master them. If you reflect on most things you learned, you will realize you did not successfully do them with your first effort. If you have been around an infant and watched them grow up, then you have observed this numerous times. Our failures can sometimes be hilarious and at other times downright frustrating but if something is important to us and we believe it is worth the effort we should not allow the fear of failure to daunt us. When someone has a serious fear of failure it can destroy their life. What are some of the factors that can contribute to someone developing the fear of failure?
The fear of failure may be rooted in many things including traumatic experiences in your early life. It could be from a lack of confidence when growing up, being ridiculed, and harshly criticized, embarrassment felt because of earlier failures, comparing yourself to others, or being compared to others by someone else. Parents, teachers, and even friends sometimes inadvertently make comments that can cause someone to be uncertain or fearful about doing certain things. This can eventually contribute to a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem.
If you are a perfectionist, you will always want to excel at what you do and get it just right. Failure is not a part of your expectations of yourself. As a result, you may be reluctant to do things that are outside of your expertise and comfort zone. You may be apprehensive about not succeeding and letting down yourself and others. The people you fear disappointing may not even view your attempt in a negative light if you are unsuccessful, so that is a pressure that you are putting on yourself.
Negative thinking is another factor that can build up the fear of failing. If someone is going through difficult times and becomes depressed, they sometimes begin to view everything negatively. It is not that they set out to be negative, rather, the experiences they have had may push them in that direction. This can take its toll on a person and cause them to be afraid of trying. They can get caught in a cycle of depression and helplessness which leaves them stuck. This can become a source of frustration for anyone who is trying to help such a person.
Societal Pressures for success can also create the fear of failure. If there are people who a person looks up to, they will not want to disappoint them. Rather than try and not succeed, that person would prefer not to try at all. Each person needs to set their standards and not try to overly impress others thereby putting undue pressure on themselves. This type of attitude could also stem from low self-esteem. We have all heard the phrase, “Keeping up with the Jones”. This has landed many people in trouble of different kinds such as lying, stealing, and committing forgery, to name a few. Some have even gone to prison for wrongdoing and criminal activities to live the “high life”.
While there are several other causes for the fear of failure, the final one we look at is the fear of success. This is a backhanded one and may seem kind of ridiculous to some, but it is a real factor for other people and is quite common. Some people fear success because they believe that it will bring changes in their lives that they feel they cannot handle. They fear that success at one thing will cause them to fail at another. Ultimately this is a fear of failure. Someone may turn down a promotion, for example, because they will no longer fit in with the crowd or they will be treated differently by their colleagues. They may fear that people with whom they have a good relationship will become their enemies. It could be a situation where a wife turns down a lucrative opportunity because her husband would be uncomfortable with her success. Persons with this issue will compromise their goals and dreams and sabotage themselves in order not to succeed.
Another reason is when you achieve a certain level of success you are expected to maintain or surpass it. This can create a lot of pressure and stress on a person and cause them to fear failing in future undertakings so they will remain in their comfort zone and not want to succeed.
Effects of the Fear of Failure
The fear of failure can cause us not to pursue our dreams and ideas. It can cause us not to act. Many good ideas fall by the wayside because of this. Ideas are said to be a dime a dozen. If you have an idea and you do not act on it, rest assured that sooner or later someone else will have that same idea and act on it. I recall developing a plan to implement a particular cultural program in a club. After the first committee meeting in which I shared the idea and circulated the plan, an older lady took me aside and told me she had had that same idea for years but did not share it. I thought that she would have been happy to see that someone else came up with the idea and acted on it. That wasn’t the case, she was upset and gave me grief throughout the implementation. She tried everything within her power to undermine my efforts and that of the committee, even on the days of the event. I pretended not to notice, but after the second year, I spoke to her about my observations and how they affected me. To her credit, she apologized. I believe that she was upset with herself, not with me.
A Sad Tale of Procrastination and Perhaps a Fear of Success
A former pastor wrote some motivational books that he wanted to publish and had an idea to develop a program to deliver motivational speeches, but he did not have the funds and skills to do some aspects. He asked for assistance in publishing the books, developing the program, and marketing them. A lot of effort, time, and resources were invested in the venture. The motivational speeches were very good. Tests were done on audiences with great results and feedback. Each time the idea was pitched to potential backers willing to invest in the venture they were excited. Everyone would be ready to move forward, and the potential investors would be ready to sign and hand over the money, but it never happened. This man would say he didn’t want to move forward for one reason or another, none of which seemed to make sense. He would come up with the percentage split and terms and then say it was not fair. The dilemma was he did not have the money to invest in the venture and he did not want to share the returns with an investor who would take the risk of doing so. This happened several times. What was the result?
The program was never implemented, one of the books was self-published but was not properly edited and has not done well. It has been over twenty-three years since he first shared the idea. He continues to say he needs marketing help but at this point, people are not willing to invest their time, effort, or money, and now his health is failing also. The moral of this story is that there is a window of opportunity in which you can act. Do not fall into the trap of allowing fear to cripple you and cause you to procrastinate. Two popular thoughts always come to mind when I think about this situation, “Make hay while the sun shines”, and “Procrastination is the thief of time.” Popular preacher and motivational speaker, Myles Munroe, now deceased, said that the graveyards are very rich as they are filled with ideas that were never carried out.
The Positive Effect of Being Better Prepared After a Failure
The fear of failure can cause someone to take action to improve themselves and failure. This can be a proactive approach where you anticipate, prepare for, and prevent yourself from failing at a task or it can be reactive. It is better to be reactive than to take no action at all. The reactive approach means that having failed at something you take action to prevent it from happening again. It is called preparedness. Here we can apply Proverbs 26:11, “Like a dog that returns to its vomit, a fool does the same foolish things again and again. This is instructive in that if we fail at something we should learn from it and be better prepared next time. Otherwise, we can count ourselves amongst the foolish.
I recall having to do a presentation to an audience of experts from several international organizations including the World Bank, the Canadian International Development Agency, the Inter-American Development Bank, the Pan-American Health Organization, and the Caribbean Development Bank, and representatives from many countries. I was the youngest presenter as this was my first job and I had only been working there for four months when I was assigned this task. I was a shy person, so this was not easy for me. However, I had no choice but to do it if I wanted to keep my job. Everyone told me that I did an excellent job but deep inside I did not believe them. When I returned home from overseas, I was told that I had been highly commended by two of the experts who had been present and who subsequently visited the agency I worked for. What they didn’t know was that my nervousness was concealed by digging my toes into my shoes constantly. I was not as poised and confident as they believed. I was successful in their eyes, but not in mine. That was the motivation for me to master the art of public speaking. I enrolled in an excellent grooming and public speaking course and that boosted my confidence significantly. I went on to deliver many public speeches successfully.
Many People Have Benefitted from Failure
Many entrepreneurs failed at business before they succeeded. Many of them went on to build multimillion-dollar businesses. They learned from their mistakes and bounced back stronger. A few examples are:
The famous Walt Disney was said to have been living on dog food and was unable to pay his rent at one point in his life. He suffered many setbacks before he found success even during the time he was building a successful company. He overcame those failures, no doubt learned from them, and went on to build a global empire.
Thomas Edison was expelled from school as they felt that he was “unteachable.” He went on to become a great inventor, the light bulb and movie projector being two of the many inventions credited to him.
Steve Jobs helped to found Apple but was ousted from that company in the mid-1980s after a series of poor product development and production decisions. The story has a good ending, as he returned to the company in 1997 and led it during its most profitable period.
These stories line up with the teachings of the Bible. The Psalmist stated, “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I could learn your statutes” (Psalm 119:71). Here he was referring to God of course, but we can apply this to other aspects of our lives. These men did not allow failure or the fear of it to prevent them from achieving success. They got up, tried again, and succeeded.
How to Overcome the Fear of Failure
2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that the Spirit God has given us is not one that makes of afraid. His Spirit is of power, love, and a sound mind. What an excellent assurance for believers to take comfort and assurance in. God does not care about some aspects of our lives; He cares about all aspects of it. We need to make sure that we submit our entire lives to him and operate through the guidance of His Holy Spirit which indwells us.
It is important to accept that you will fail at some things and will probably fail several times in your life. The important thing is to get up and since we trust in God, we depend on him to help us and to guide us. When the fear of failure raises its ugly head, ask yourself, “What is the worst that will happen if I fail at this?” If your answer to that question means that you can live with that result, then you dismiss your fear. If you do not try you will never know what was possible.
Stand firm on the words of Psalm 37:23-24, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and He delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.” When we fail God is still with us, so we need not fear failure. Psalm 145:14, “He helps those who are in trouble; He lifts those who have fallen.”
To overcome the fear of failure:
– View it as a normal part of life
– View it as an opportunity to learn and grow
– Prepare yourself well for assignments or ventures
– Recognize that it may be your steppingstone to success
– Note that people who have never failed have never lived
– People who seem not to fail probably play it safe by not trying
– Recognize that that may not be in God’s plan. He may have another route mapped out for you.
– Write out your affirmations from the Bible and repeat them often
As a child of God remember that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.