We all know the importance of prayer, especially for those who are going through difficult times. We need to pray for each other, but we may not realize that our prayers or prayer requests can turn into gossip if we are not careful about how we share information and what our motives are. Gossip is not only harmful to the person we are talking about but also to our church community, to ourselves, and to our relationship with God.
Gossip is defined as “idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others”. It can also be “a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others”. It is giving information that it is not necessary to give whether it is true or not. It could be information that someone shared in confidence and is then repeated, or it could be information that someone overheard. Some people like to feel that they are in the “know” about a secret and some people like to share secrets with others.
Sometimes people ask others to pray for someone else because they want to let everyone know that the person is having a difficulty. They do this under the guise of making a prayer request. They may want to show that they have information about the situation. My friend’s daughter said that when Christians want to gossip they will make statements like, “Please pray for Sister Greene or Brother Brown because …” and they then go on to give details which should not have been made public. Although this is not always the case, we need to be careful with what we share in such situations. If something is shared in confidence there is no need to share the details with a group. If prayer is requested for someone there is no need to specify sensitive information. The One who hears, and answers prayers is all-knowing and there is nothing hidden from Him.
What Does the Bible Teach about Gossip
The Bible addresses this subject strongly and explicitly:
Proverbs 20:19 states, “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.”
Proverbs 11:13 states, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”
Proverbs 26:20 tells us, “Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.”
Proverbs 26:22, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.”
The Bible makes it clear that gossiping is a negative activity that Christians should not participate in. Romans 1:28-30 includes gossip among the acts of wickedness, evil, greed, and depravity. In 2 Corinthians 20, the Apostle Paul lists gossip as an activity that he feared he would find in the church in Corinth.
Forms and Effects of Gossip
Gossip can take many forms, such as:
– Sharing details that are not necessary or relevant for prayer
– Sharing details that are confidential or sensitive
– Sharing details that are negative or judgmental
– Sharing details that are exaggerated or distorted
– Sharing details that are motivated by pride, envy, anger, or malice
Gossip can hurt the person we are talking about, by:
– Damaging their reputation or character
– Exposing their weaknesses or faults
– Invading their privacy or dignity
– Causing them embarrassment or shame
– Spreading false or misleading information
Gossip can also hurt us and our relationships with God, by:
– Wasting our time and energy on trivial matters
– Distracting us from our own issues and responsibilities
– Corrupting our hearts and minds with negativity and sin
– Breaking trust and unity with others
– Disobeying God’s commandments and displeasing Him
How Can We Pray for Others Without Gossiping?
Here are some tips to help us:
– Check our motives. Before we share anything, we should ask ourselves: Why do I want to share this? Is it to help the person in need, or to satisfy my curiosity, show off my knowledge, or vent my feelings? Is it to glorify God, or to gratify myself?
– Respect confidentiality. If someone has confided in us, we should respect their trust and privacy. We should not reveal anything that they have not given us permission to share. We should also avoid asking for more details than what they are willing to share.
– Be selective. We should not share everything with everyone. We should choose wisely who we share with, and how much we share. We should only share with those who are mature, trustworthy, and compassionate. We should also limit the number of people we share with, to avoid spreading the information too widely.
– Be positive. We should focus on the positive aspects of the person and the situation, rather than the negative ones. We should emphasize their strengths and virtues, rather than their weaknesses and faults. We should also express hope and faith in God’s power and grace, rather than doubt and despair.
– Be accurate. We should be careful not to exaggerate or distort the facts. We should stick to what we know for sure and avoid speculating or assuming. We should also correct any misinformation or misunderstanding that we may encounter.
– Be respectful. We should treat the person and the situation with respect and dignity. We should not mock, ridicule, or criticize them. We should also avoid using harsh or hurtful words, such as “stupid”, “crazy”, or “sinful”.
– Be loving. We should pray for others with love and compassion. We should empathize with their feelings and needs, rather than judge them or condemn them. We should also pray for their good and their salvation, rather than their harm or their punishment.
The Bible warns us about the dangers of gossip and urges us to control our tongues and purify our hearts. James 3:5-6 says: “Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider how a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
Follow the Example Set by Jesus
The Bible also gives us examples of how to pray for others without gossiping. Job is an excellent example of how callous we can be as Christians when others are in pain and suffering. His friends accused him of being sinful and wicked, instead of comforting him and supporting him. Job 16:2 says: “I have heard many things like these; you are miserable comforters, all of you.”
On the other hand, Jesus is the perfect example of how loving and compassionate we can be as Christians when others are in need. He prayed for his enemies, his disciples, and his followers. He also taught us how to pray for others in Matthew 6:9 -13: “This, then, is how you should pray:
“Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours now and forever. Amen.”
Let us follow the example of Jesus and pray for others without gossiping. Let us remember that what we do not want to be done to us, we should not do to others. Let us also remember that God is watching and listening to everything we say and do. Proverbs 15:3 says: “The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.”
May God help us to control our tongues and purge our hearts. May He help us to show love and kindness to everyone. May He bless us as we pray for others in His name. Amen.